The rules of parenting – are there any
Parenting and babies. I do my best to spend as much time with my family and particularly with my 2 grandsons. I watch the different styles of parenting that my daughter and her partner have with their son Amotai who is 21 months, to that of my son and his partner with their son Kiwa [...]
Parenting and babies. I do my best to spend as much time with my family and particularly with my 2 grandsons. I watch the different styles of parenting that my daughter and her partner have with their son Amotai who is 21 months, to that of my son and his partner with their son Kiwa who is 6 years. Both sets of parents are in awe of their child and this creates more value in their parenting. It is awesome to witness their love for their sons, and I am truly blessed that my children and their partners allow me such a big part in the lives of my grandsons for I absolutely adore these young men. As well the services available to aid families in the rearing of their child/children are plentiful (here in New Zealand anyway) and each believe they are worthy in their delivery. Plunket, Early Childhood Learning Centres, Play Centre, Barnados, Kohanga Reo (Maori Language schools), Porse and more, yet for me, there is nothing like the home wisdoms that are dispensed from our Grandmothers, our Aunts, our Grandfathers, our Uncles or those wise people in our communities who live and breathe the joy of children. So I'd like to share some of the 'wisdoms' that I was given. Consistency: Consistency is one of those gems that helps to build confidence in a child and allows them to start exploring their surroundings at an early age. Seeing the same things, people, furniture, toys, blankets make for feelings of security, even a room brings comfort and ease if it is known to a child. There are the exceptions who are explorers and adventurers as soon as they realise they aren't attached to their parent/carer and use every opportunity at hand to experience their journey of growing and learning. Very few things are constant outside the home, so allow them this comfort in their first years. My grandmothers home never changed, the lounge was always the way since my youngest memory. And the biscuit (cookie) tin was always in the same place and full every time I raided it, and it seems that all my cousins have the same memory, so this biscuit tin had a busy life as did my Grandmothers oven (for cooking all the biscuits). These are memories that I have, and my son was blessed to experience these because he was 14 when my grandmother/his great grandmother passed away. Playing games: The playing of games creates a bond with the babe/child, and it is my belief that the more you play the deeper the bond, as well as the stories they will have of their childhood is a heritage that is passed on. Playing is about socializing and building foundations of behaviour, learning the subtle 'rules' and 'boundaries' of interaction in the inner world (family) and the outer world (society). Play should begin when baby is still in the womb. There are games that one can play to engage baby, like letting them follow your finger around your puku/belly. Just keep doing it, they will figure it out and start to follow. Then there is the other one of when they 'kick' for room or stretching, try to grab the foot. It took a while but I was eventually able to do it, as I got to know the habits of my child. There were basically 2 reasons that he kicked in a certain way, one was when I was sitting in an uncomfortable position for a long length of time, and the other was when I ate too many oranges (must have been the acid), this upset him for some reason. Even today he is not an orange eating person. My son would often push his back toward my hand, especially when I was rubbing my belly, so stroking and massaging him began very early. I will also add here that the baby/child does not always play by the rules, so if you've spent a considerable amount of time with your baby/child, generally you will be able to 'read' them and make the adjustments to keeping them happy, safe and learning in their environment. My grandmother did crochet and needed her wool wound in a specific way from these big skeins into smaller more managable balls. She would often get one of us (grandchildren) to stand there with our hands in front of us, the wool on either hand and then start winding in to smaller balls. While we did this we would play guessing games, Who am I? What am I? Where do I live? We loved this time and often all others would join in and the hilarity, noise and fun was spellbinding. I play this with Kiwa when we are driving anywhere and I find I am challenged to be more inventive in my thoughts. Sounds, Songs and Movement: Sounds like cooing, humming, lowered tones are sounds of safety, love and comfort to the baby/child. As they start to age, adding rhyme, different tunes, songs, clapping, running, jumping, dance, all aid in calibrating the little persons body which is about building fluidity and strength at their core. When we take the time to watch a baby/child in all their movements you will see how graceful they are. The baby/child is moving in a rhythm that we have forgotten, they are running on the earth's magnetic field, and their electrical field which is pure, manages these without thought, reason or attachment, its all experiential. Because of this the 7 senses, sight, sound, smell, taste, touch, intuition and imagination function at a high rate hence having an enlightened child in touch with an energy that is invisible and potential. Could this be God / Goddess / Great Spirit? I believe it most definitely is.
